Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

I'm tired of eating healthy, eating "good foods". I'm tired of not eating. Does that make sense? Such a weighty question. I'm contemplating getting off the couch and exercising to something, anything. I've lifted weights and biked a lot lately, I need to mix it up s bit and it's raining and just plain nasty out. Too nasty for driving 2 minutes to the gym. Besides there's a lot of mirrors there. Who in their right mind wants to see themselves as they really are? The illusion of tall and thin was working just fine for a while until my jeans wouldn't fit and then the mirror started speaking up. "Hey you, yeah you in the jeans that are too tight with the blouse pulled strategically down to the magic slimming line on your hips. Just why the heck are you only looking in the bathroom mirror? You know that mirror only shows your head and neck. Walk to the bedroom mirror, ahh, see I told that mirror never lies." And that's when this whole adventure began.

Art 16 Years Later

It's been a long time in blogger time since I last wrote. I can't imagine keeping this up daily. You would seriously need to quit your day job. I've been busy adhering to my daily regiment of less is more attitude and it seems to be paying off, a few more pounds on my way to two sacks of sugar. I'm hoping my second sack will fall off by the end of next week. (Say a Hail Mary for me.)
I'm finding the best way to not eat is to not have time to eat and to have lots and lots of fruit and vegetables around. I'm loving going to the gym (now that I'm use to the decor, need I say more on that subject)and now going into my 4th week I can actually see and feel the results. Don't get me wrong the mirror doesn't lie. There is plenty left to get rid of but I'm no longer eating everything I see. The best thing this week besides seeing my para be a camel in a play (she's really good at it and I'm afraid she'll run off with a Shepard and leave me with all those kids!) is that I went to a figure drawing class AND I can still draw. It was exhilarating! The funny part is is that I use to model in college and I thought then that I was less than perfect. If only I had that body now!! It would certainly be viewed as perfect in my eyes. There were no sacks of sugar to be gotten rid of!

Hair Today Gone Tomorrow

For the record I dyed my hair 4 times yesterday. Well technically 3 times dyed and one time I removed the color. Don't ever, ever get yourself in that position because you will wreck quite a few towels. I speak from experience. The first time it came out too red, second time I tried to dull the red, third time I used dye remover to get out ALL of the color, which in turn turns your hair a bright orange. I'm serious. No one can ever see you like that. You basically have to lock yourself in the bathroom all day. THEN I dyed the clown orange a neutral medium brown and I can't believe it but it worked. At one point between steps 3 and 4 I was wailing about getting a hairdresser that instant. As my husband pointed out it was Sunday evening so I really had to fix it or call in sick, which I was prepared to do. So today I am sporting a mousey brown head of hair which I am very fine with. As for food, who has time to eat when they're busy wrecking their hair? I probably lost 2-3 lbs. in my quest to find the ultimate shade that would camouflage my body. So not worth it. I guess my MFA in textiles paid off in the dying department.

Lucy Episode

I am channeling my inner Lucy. Two days ago I got the bright idea to change my hair color (which I do with alarming frequency as I age) to go with my emerging new image. Low and behold I now look like I Love Lucy. It is not one of her funnier episodes or mine. I've always been drawn to Lucy, perhaps it's the bread too large for the oven scene or the chocolate factory zany mishap? No matter what possessed me, I decided to remedy the problem with a new hair color. If I don't change it the kids will be asking me all day long, "Ms. F- why did you paint your hair? (I always tell them I paint it) and I liked you the other way." Knowing the kind of fickle person I am, I just happened to have a dark brown box of haircolor from another time I changed my mind, under the bathroom sink. I can't believe that about one month ago my haircolor was verging on one step away from white it was so blonde. My thinking here was that if I put the dark brown over the red I may at least be able to tone down the red. My roots looked like they were on fire! I also had to do something because there was no way I could go to CVS looking the way I did while walking up and down the haircolor isle. Everyone would be snickering or asking for my autograph. You'd be surprised how many people in America think Lucy is still alive. Anyways, I applied the new improved color even before I had one of the delicious cornmeal waffles my husband made. For once in my life my personal self-esteem overcame my desire for food. And voila! I was a new woman by breakfast. Sadly I now look like a chocolate bon bon. The kind with a cherry in the middle. Not so tasty or appetizing, one bite and you have to put it back.

One Sack of Sugar

I lost one sack of sugar! I only have 7 more to go. One would think that a sack of sugar would be easy to dispose of but not so fast....unfortunately it just doesn't dissolve with Diet Pepsi, or pepsis as my case may be. (This isn't product placement) Nope, you have to bike it off, starve it off, lift it off, feed it only healthy foods and continue to do this for a very, very long time. On top of all this you have to assign points to every morsel you stick in your mouth and they have to be the "good points". Fiber has very good points,often the good point fibers are pretty hefty and then you can't have too much of the "good points". Nothing is that good I'm finding out. Oh and look out for Kashi Oatmeal Cookie Bars. Supposedly they're meant to be good for you but it's like eating a Twix bar. I personally would go for the Twix bar. I found this out at school the other day. They sell books at the counter in my school. Really strange books that look like they come from the fifties. I think the marketing guys (I'm sure it's guys) think schools= middle age women. So they pull out a book to sell that compares Best and Worse foods to eat, since most of us tend to be a little "chunky", we're suckers for this stuff. I looked at this book with my colleague while we were waiting for lunch to begin. What are friends for? She's becoming a very good friend, she says I look much younger than I am which is all you really want to hear from a friend. You see good friends know what to say. So maybe she thinks I only need to lose 5 more sacks of sugar! I'll have to ask her.

TheTootsie Roll Mystery

The mystery of the tootsie rolls at the gym is solved! Last night I bravely went to the gym only to once again be horrified by all the mirrors and college students. After biking my way to nowhere, watching Inside Edition, learning about Charlie Sheen and his less than stellar past, lifting weights at the 20lbs. mark and cringing inside while doing it,I got the nerve as I walked out to ask,"Why in the heck do you have huge jars, four to be exact, of tootsie rolls in the gym?" The very serious and simple answer I got is that Corporate Planet Fitness requires that they be in every gym for diabetics and fat people. (I added the fat people part.) Fortunately I have never indulged in the tootsie rolls so I can't be added into that equation, that is unless I glance in the mirror again.
And that is the solution to the tootsie roll mystery!

Moment of the Day: Why is it after you've just completed a fascinating lesson on Martin Luther King Jr.,by cracking two different colored eggs to prove that we're all the same inside, they still always focus on how he died? My husband called it the Race of Eggs lesson. I guess the connection was a little loose. But boy did they listen when I dropped a book on an egg when we were studying the brain to show what happens if you don't wear a helmet! I told my para that we'll just teach through eggs all year.

"I Hate Olives"

Well, I made the penquin treats (olives with cream cheese stuffed in them to look like penquins)and there was a lot of interest in them while I was making them however, when they learned they were having them for snack there were many exclamations about never, ever, ever eating an olive. When I had the audacity to ask if they've ever eaten an olive they were very definitive in their answers of "No, and I'm never going to eat one either". So much for the advanced palates of 5 years olds. So instead I gave them snow on sleds. ( Cream cheese on Town House Crackers.) That they liked.
Today was ok. I had the usual, muffin with peanut butter and banana, salad, soup and grilled cheese. Filling but satisfying.....not so much.

I think I'm just going to head out to the gym and make my foot hurt some more.

Dreary Cranky Sunday

What a boring day!I expected to lose 40lbs by now and the only thing I am is a lot achier (is there such a word?) than I've ever been. I walk around the house stretching forwards, backwards and sideways. I'm sort of like the leaning tower of fat. And my stupid foot, my foot is killing me. First it was my heel and now the top of my foot is driving me crazy.If I go to the Foot Dr. He'll tell me to put in inserts in my shoes for $400. Which I already have thanks to Walmart. Yes- I shop at Walmart it's two seconds from my house. It's not like I go out of my way to get there. In fact it's the first thing you see when you go to go shopping around here. Ok got that out of my system. As I was saying, my foot is really making me cranky. The question is, do I exercise the ache out of it, if that's even possible, or lay off of it for a few days? Oh yeah, I still have to make those stupid penguins tonight for snack tomorrow since I forgot to get the fluffy toothpicks that make their heads stick to their bodies. I have to go, I hear the chicken I'm roasting calling me, CRANKY, Cranky........I'm coming, I'm coming!

Hi HO Off to the Gym We Go!

I went to the gym! I went to the gym! I went to the gym! Did I mention I went to the gym? Did a little cycling, stretched a bit and left. I didn't even mind the black, yellow and purple decorating thing they've got going on there. Everyone was fat just like me, it's that time of year, all the college students were still asleep, and we were all huffing and puffing in unison. Oh what a glorious feeling! The one thing I do question about this gym other than the hideous color scheme is the big jar of mini tootsie rolls at the desk as you leave. What's that all about? Also in this age of pig flu there are no more trashy magazines to read. They've vanished!

Took M- to the mall with all her friends last night. I wandered around looking at clothes and thought, nope I'm going to be so much thinner that none of these oversize bags will soon fit. So I didn't get any.

Feeling good, looking fabulous and on the road to recovery!

No Yoga for Me

I took out another unused DVD last night. It was one of those feel good, connect to the earth yoga DVD's. So I tried a few poses and nearly killed myself! I was doing a hand to the earth pose or something like that and I heard my whole back crackle like broken glass. As a friend said at lunch, that may be an indication that perhaps I need yoga. I'm not buying it. The instructor also says everything in this slow version of talking. It's like she's one of Jim Jone's followers and she's going to lead me to the land of Nirvana. Like I said, I'm not buying it. So now it's back to the butt and abs DVD.
No major food issues today. There were cupcakes for snack for a birthday but they were decorated by the child and they had oodles of drippy white stuff that looked very unappetizing; so I ate one of my more than filling Healthy Morning muffins. I'm going to need to whip up a new batch soon. I'm thinking of going to the basement to try and remedy those back crackles but when it's this cold who wants to change into gym clothes? However the good news is, is that my room was toasty warm today when I came in!!!Yeah!! I'm thinking of making olive penguins for snack tomorrow which will delight all. (We're studying penguins) Next week it's polar bears but I don't think I'll be cooking any polar bear treats! (I think polar bear treats are penguins)
Favorite moment of the day: Little boy in the Fantasy area wearing a Madeline cape and a hard hat. Who says Amherst isn't progressive?

Freezing remedied!

Ok so I got out the big guns and complained about freezing and I don't mean food. I used parental influence and low and behold there was a nice man fixing the heater. I don't think my principal wanted to deal with the parent! We were all so mesmerized by the heating guy that we missed the bus! So then I felt really stupid and had to call parents and now I've currently traumatized 21 children about the bus. On the good side, when I say hurry up or we'll miss the bus they'll get it. And what bus driver doesn't check to see that all the kindergarteners are on the bus??
The temperature in the room today was 61-64 depending where you stood in the room. It's actually a toasty 66 now! As for the Healthy Morning muffin I did eat one last night but then I went and exercised. I use to be such an exercise junkie and it just feels so good!I've already lost 2-lbs of X-mas cookie fat! (It's probably only the water I drank while eating the cookies.) So I'm heading off to home check out a Pilates tape, another one I've owned for years and never done! You can tell because it's a tape not a DVD! I tell you, these kids aren't going to recognize me soon!
Quote of the Day: "Ms. F- I think you need more practice in tying shoes, my mom is an expert at it!" Hearing aids, practice in tying shoes, what's next?

Freezing and I Don't Mean Food

Ok so I didn't march downstairs and do my butt DVD but I did march upstairs and put away my clothes from our X-mas trip (and my husband's.) So with a wonderful clean room and sheets I promptly went to bed. Today I ate not one bad thing. I even took off the top of a birthday cupcake to reduce the calories. These are the perils of teaching kindergarten, birthdays, surprise treats and of course every kindergarten staple, Cheezits! Chedder blasted goldfish are also like crack to all K teachers.
I think I burnt a lot of calories freezing in my classroom. It is unbelievably cold. I have long underwear on, two layers and a scarf wrapped around my neck. Which comes off easily during a hot flash. I have no way to remedy this freezing cold room so I'm going to use it to my advantage and burn as many calories as I can.
I'm feeling very virtuous and made Healthy Morning muffins from Everyday Food magazine. These are the densest muffins I've ever seen. They work out to be 4 points on WW. So the question is do I have one now, save it for morning or go do my DVD workout? Stay tuned.... Maybe I'll freeze them!

Still Alive

Well this is proving to be a very popular blog. I'm visiting myself. I'm not sure why there aren't millions out there dying to know my every bite however I'll blog on for nothing! Today, back to work, little hands and feet everywhere. So happy to see them and I mean it. Nothing like a 5 year old telling you you might need hearing aids because you confused hearing the words blue and glue. Can't buy comments like that in a store. Kyle brought in leftover cream puffs for snack today. Who has leftover cream puffs?? I resisted fully and ate my 2 point Kashi bar with gusto. Rest of the day so far has gone well no major mishaps or food casualties as of 8:45 pm. I really want to finish my butt and abs dvd but I have to garner up the energy. So instead of prattling on I'm going to march downstairs and try to get the strength to endure!

Exercise... what a novelty

So I dug out my DVDs from Prevention magazine and Weight Watchers. I put a new battery in my WW points calculator and looked at my old ww 3 month journals. Yes I do have all these things in excess. I could staff an army of over weight people and be really good at it. I'm a great motivator of the masses. Daily I motivate 21, 6 year olds to do what I say and believe that what I 'm saying is the absolute truth. Ask their parents they'll confer, my name is a common household word. Anyways back to the dieting. I went shopping since there was no food in the house.( We were away for x-mas.) My shopping cart looked like the picture of health. I ate healthy all day, homemade soup, spinach salad, small bowl of life cereal.... but the real deal starts tomorrow! I'm going to take the leap and track my food; as much as I am sick of WW I know it works. The meetings drive me a bit crazy. However the most important thing to me is the exercising. I want my body back or even a faint resemblence to the one I had not so long a go. I loved the Prevention DVD (I've had it for years and never did it) I could keep up for the most part. I belong to a gym, Planet Fitness but I hate the place. First of all there are no windows and it's painted black and yellow, a god awful combination. It also smells like a rubber factory for some reason. I want to try exercising at home most of the time and biking at the gym.Have I mentioned the plantar-faciitis? I've had it for months and my brother-in- law diagnosed it for me over the vacation. I started doing foot exercises and low and behold it's beginning to subside!! Which leaves my favored exercise, the treadmill in the dirt. I have to say, how did I ever let myself get like this? What was I thinking?????

This is it!

So this is it, the moment I've been waiting for all year. I've eaten my way through sicknesses, a death, an anorexic french exchange student, my teenager's test anxiety misery, general exercise fatigue and one food filled glorious trip to Ca. (also numerous x-mas cookies). I recently was somewhere where there were big, gigantic, humongous mirrors and I just couldn't believe it. Who is this woman and more importantly why is she in my mirror? That was the final straw. Who the heck am I kidding? A cute smile is just not cutting it any more and it isn't looking so cute with a double chin on the horizon. So how am I going to approach this? Weight Watchers, South Beach, Fat Flush or exercise and "portion control"???? Well I know Weight Watchers works but I could teach it and be a whole lot funnier, also my ex-leader has a tummy and really should take the whole thing a little farther. South Beach just makes me crave carbs in a way I've never craved them. The Fat Flush is just insane with all its vitamins and you really have to like cranberry juice in very UN-natural amounts. I teach, who has time to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes? Yeah we all know the answer, eat less and exercise more.....So problem solved? Yet how does one get rid of 40 lbs in the most healthy and efficient way? I am a speedy person, I like things fast, immediate and 40lbs doesn't dissolve on its own. Oh I also have this thing called a family and a job, they both get in the way when it concerns food, exercise and eating. Maybe writing will make this more of an adventure, we'll see.... If you have NICE things to say, funny diet things to relay, words of encouragement or just "You go girl" comments send them my way. You can even be my WBB, Weightloss Blog Buddy if you like. SO, This is it......